a. A Sikh man and woman should
enter wedlock without giving thought to the prospective spouse's caste and
descent.
b. A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.
c. A Sikh's marriage should be solemnized by Anand marriage
rites.
d. Child marriage is taboo for Sikhs.
e. When a girl becomes marriageable, physically, emotionally
and by virtue of maturity of character, a suitable Sikh match should be found
and she be married to him by Anand marriage rites.
f. Marriage may not be preceded by engagement ceremony. But if
an engagement ceremony is sought to he held, a congregational gathering should
be held and, after offering the Ardas before the Guru Granth Sahib, a kirpan, a
steel Karah and some sweets may be tendered to the boy.
g. Consulting horoscopes for determining which day or date is
auspicious or otherwise for fixing the day of the marriage is a sacrilege. Any
day that the parties find suitable by mutual consultation should be fixed.
h. Putting on floral or gilded face ornamentation, decorative
headgear or red thread band round the wrist, worshipping of ancestors, dipping
feet in rffiik mixed with water, cutting a berry or jandi (Prosopis spieigera)
bushes, filling pitcher, ceremony of retirement in feigned displeasure, reciting
couplets, performing havans (Sacrificial fire), installing vedi (a wooden canopy
or pavilion under which Hindu marriages are performed), prostitutes'
dances, drinking liquor, are all sacrileges.
i. The marriage party should have as small a number of people
as the girl's people desire. The two sides should greet each other singing
sacred hymns and finally by the Sikh greetings of Waheguru ji ka Khalsa,
Waheguru ji ki Fateh.
j. For marriage, there should be a congregational gathering in
the holy presence of Guru Granth Sahib. There should be hymn-singing by ragis or
by the whole congregation. Then the girl and the boy should he made to sit
facing the Guru Granth Sahib. The girl should sit on the left side of the boy.
After soliciting the congregation's permission, the master of the marriage
ceremony (who may be a man or a woman) should bid the boy and girl and their
parents or guardians to stand and should offer the Ardas for the commencement of
the Anand marriage ceremony.
The officiant should then apprise the boy and the girl of the duties and
obligations of conjugal life according to the Guru's tenets.
He should initially give to the two an exposition of their common mutual
obligations. He should tell them how to model the husband-wife relationship on
the love between the individual soul and the Supreme Soul in the light of the
contents of circumambulation (Lavan) Sabads in the Suhi measure (Rag) section of
the Guru Granth Sahib.
He should explain to them the notion of the state of "a single soul in two
bodies" to be achieved through love and make them see how they may attain union
with the Immortal Being discharging duties and obligations of the householders'
life. Both of them, they should be told, have to make their conjugal union a
means to the fulfillment of the purpose of the journey of human existence; both
have to lead clean and Guru-oriented lives through the instrumentality of their
union.
He should then explain to the boy and girl individually their respective
conjugal duties as husband and wife.
The bridegroom should be told that the girl's people having chosen him as the
fittest match from among a lot, he should regard his wife as his better half,
accord to unflinching love and share with her all that he has. In situations, he
should protect her person and honour, should be completely loyal to her and he
should show much respect and consideration for her parents and as for his own.
The girl should be told that she has been joined matrimony to her man in the
hallowed presence of the Guru Granth Sahib and the congregation. She should ever
harbor for him deferential solicitude, regard him the lord master of her love
and trust; she should remain firm in loyalty to him and serve him in joy and
sorrow and in every clime (native or foreign) and should show the same and
consideration to his parents and relatives as she to her own parents and
relatives.
The boy and girl should bow before the Guru Granth Sahib to betoken their
acceptance of these instructions. Thereafter, the girl's father or the principal
relation should make the girl grasp one end of the sash which the boy wearing
over his shoulders and the person in attendance the Guru Granth Sahib should
recite the matrimonial circumambulation stanzas {Lavan of the Fourth Nanak, Guru
Ram Das Sahib in the Suhi Rag of the Guru Granth Sahib } (Pp. 773-4). After the
conclusion of the recitation of each of the stanzas, the boy, followed by the
girl holding the end of the sash, should go round the Guru Granth Sahib while
the ragis or the congregation sing out the recited stanza.
The boy and girl, after every circumambulation, should bow before the Guru
Granth Sahib in genuflexion, lowering their forehead to touch the ground and
then stand up to listen to the recitation of the next stanza. There being four
matrimonial circumambulation stanzas in the concerned hymn, the proceeding will
comprise four circumambulation with the incidental singing of the stanza. After
the four circumabulation, the boy and girl should, after bowing before the Guru
Granth Sahib, sit down at the appointed place and the Ragis or the person who
has conducted the ceremony should recite the first five and the last stanza of
the Anand Sahib. Thereafter, the Ardas should he offered to mark the conclusion
of the Anand marriage ceremony and the Karhah Parshad, distributed'.
k. Persons professing faiths other than the Sikh faith cannot
be joined in wedlock by the Anand Karaj ceremony.
l. No Sikh should accept a match for his/her son or daughter
for monetary consideration.
m. If the girl's parents at any time or on any occasion visit
their daughter's home and a meal is ready there, they should not hesitate to eat
there. Abstaining from eating at the girl's home is a superstition. The Khalsa
has been blessed with the boon of victuals and making others eat by the Guru and
the Immortal Being. The girl's and boy's people should keep accepting each
other's hospitality, because the Guru has joined them in relationship of
equality (Prem Sumarag).
n. If a woman's husband has died, she may, if she so wishes,
finding a match suitable for her, remarry. For a Sikh man whose wife has died,
similar ordinance obtains.
o. The remarriage may be solemnized in the same manner as the
Anand marriage.
p. Generally, no Sikh should marry a second wife if the first
wife is alive.
q. Amritdhari Sikh ought to get his wife also Amritdhari |